kind of disappointed and feeling a little dishearten now. the past few days i focus more on my A1 song.. didnt really bother much abt the other 2 songs. when i played in front of him.. everything turned out the opposite. those bars in that song where i know im weak in.. i have spent lotsa time on that. i practise several times to get a perfect phrase.. i thought i can play without much hiccups for that particular song today. i thought.. yes i thought. all that i thought are all bullshit.
there's way too many breaks in that song. the fingerings that i had worked out for the past days.. were all in a mess today. i hate myself at tt moment. whats going on?? ok.. im nervous i know. my desire to master tt piece as soon as possible. am i too rush to get things done? scales.. my greatest weak point is the fingering again. wats wrong with my fingers?
i know he's trying to be patient.. i know he didnt reprimand me this time.. he is being positive.. he dont wanna one to lose confidence. but yet im losing it now.. look i did practise.. but it doesnt turn out to the way that i want. it seems like it doesnt pay off. i had been constantly hitting the wrong notes at the minute we started the lesson till the end of it. the last section of the aural.. he played a piece and i hafta start to describe it. suddenly my whole mind got blank out. i didnt know how i should start. yes i know hafta say abt the texture, tonality, harmony, dynamics.. but my mouth is shut. and again he didnt flare up. the last qn he asked.. wats the most likely composer of tt period. i did answer 'handel' without any confident. he didnt hear it. he asked again and i look at him blankly.. he looked back with a expressionless face and replied 'its handel or bach'.
whats exactly going on? its jus only a lesson eh. and im so nervous till i didnt know what i should do and how to react. what im going to do on that actual day? if this happens on that day or it turn out to be even worse.. then what?
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